remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
