His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my being single is dangerous.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
