Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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