Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
