I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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