You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
