Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you are never too drunk for berry picking
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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