Are we in a gay sports bar?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
