Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
