why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
