i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
