just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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