I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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