Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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