Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
