you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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