he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize