i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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