just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
