Porn is love you can see.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you would pick up someone in the library
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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