I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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