It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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