I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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