the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize