brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
