I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
