things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
