Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
