We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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