You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
