omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
