Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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