You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
