I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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