Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
