whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
