i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
