Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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