I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
