Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
