i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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