Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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