He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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