I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
