At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
