Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
