I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
