Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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