New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
