I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
